Nova Llar- Training Days Read online

  Once Clara had calmed down enough to talk they moved to the sitting room to get more comfortable. The fireplace was already burning, and the curtains were drawn to keep the warmth in. Taking a seat on her favourite chair Clara tucked up her legs and wrapped herself in a blanket. “It’s good to see you Clara.” Her mother began. “Please tell us what you need and how we can help!” She continued. There was warmth in her voice and Clara found it comforting. Clara smiled weakly and began.

  She didn’t feel she could get to what she needed to talk about without some background. To begin she described to them the first few days of the LF training. How there had been a steep learning curve and that unlike most of the other recruits she had excelled early on. She went on the explain the group of friends that formed through the difficult first months and the constant shadow of washing out. The trip to see the Isabella under construction. The tests and exams she had taken. The altercation with Griffin. Clara had probably given more background than was necessary, but she felt it was difficult to fully convey her feelings any other way. The progressed in her academic efforts received the greatest focus. It was at these times she had felt closest to Charles. She was just getting to the point before the survival training when she felt the pain in her stomach returning. She had gone through an ordeal during that training which she thought she was over. It appeared Charles’ death was opening old wounds. “What’s wrong Clara?” Her sister asked with a concerned tone. “It’s just.” Clara started. “It’s just the next part contains some painful memories. I thought they had been dealt with but…” She stopped. “Clara. It’s alright if you want to stop for now.” Her mother offered. “No. I need to get through this.” Clara said with determination in her voice. “One of the aspects of training we undertook was a survival mission. We were led to believe we were in a remote part of the world, where we needed to find ways to get through it.” Her mother's expression changed to one of concern. “Survival training?” she asked. “We were sent out in two groups. Each needed to establish a base, arrange supplies and protect ourselves. However, one thing we weren’t told was it was all a simulation.“ She went on to recount their time in the simulation. Trying to find their feet, building a settlement and establishing routines. Clara did her best to describe the attacks and what they had to do to survive but in her effort to remain in control she felt she may have played it down too much. There was some concern regarding them but she brushed it off, telling them they had never been in any real danger. “If only it had felt like that at the time.” She thought to herself.

  When Clara finally got to their first mission off base, she found she was practically lost for words. Whilst recounting the flight and initial steps she was struggling to breath with tear streaming down her face. By the point where Charles and herself had entered the control room to reconfigure the dampening field, she was in full floods again. “It’s alright hunny.” her mother reassured her. “We know what happened.” Clara was shocked. She hadn’t send any word ahead. They hadn’t even known she was coming until she landed outside. “Bu…but how could you know?” She managed to ask. Her mother came over and sat with her, looking into her eyes. “We received a call from Colonel Jones shortly before you arrived. He explained everything and said you would be coming to see us. You don’t have to go through it if it’s too painful. We know that young man died to preserve life. Not just yours, but the lives of the AI’s you were trying to help.” She was holding Clara’s hand tightly. “He was a hero, and no-one could convince us otherwise.” In spite of all of the anger and sorrow she was feeling, Clara felt a smile spreading across her face. Even if there were still people in the world who wouldn’t see the point in what Charles had done, Her family did. She did her best to explain the friendship she had with Charles and the impact he had had on her life up until his passing. After she was finished they all hugged and cried together. Clara went on to recount what was happening to the people in charge of the station and what the foreseeable future held. There were some parts she couldn’t reveal for security reasons and the vast majority of the information would be public knowledge seen enough. “Talking through it all. It’s like it could have happened in a dream.” Clara said. “But actually living through it felt like it would never end at times.” She turned and looked out of the window to the grey clouds stretching away from the house. With nothing left to say, Clara sat and listened to the events her mother and sister had experienced while she had been away. Somehow hearing about their live gave her a sense of peace about what had happened and what was to come. She was important to them and they would always be there is she needed them. At least while she was still on Earth that is.

  The rest of Clara’s stay at her family home was spent catching up with her extended family. Everyone was so proud of her and wished her well on her trip. She didn’t discuss Charles with anyone else. Clara’s time with her Mother and sister had given her the catharsis she needed, there was no need to involve anyone else. On her last day, she was into the kitchen with her mother preparing a meal for the whole family. She felt she needed this time with her Mother before she headed back to the base to continue her training. They talked and laughed. Shared more than a few embraces and even had one last cry together. The meal itself was filled with merriment and laughter. Relatives recounting their own stories of a younger Clara with fondness. When the time for Clara’s transport back to the base was nearly upon them, the mood began to shift. Everyone was still congratulating her and wishing her well. But there was a note of sadness as their remaining time dwindled. As the transport touched down outside Clara hugged her mother one final time and picked up her bag to leave. Stopping with one foot up on the transport’s entryway Clara turned back to look at her family home one last time. She wanted to remember everything about this moment forever, there were no guarantees she would be returning before leaving on the mission. With the sights, sounds and smells committed to memory she pulled herself up into the transport and found her seat. Knowing in her heart, she would never set foot in this house again.

  Chapter 37

  Steve sat at his desk staring at the displays in front of him. Various pieces of information were flitting across and while part of him was recording it for later review, his main focus was on the events of the last few weeks. Several self-diagnostics had returned no errors, even a full diagnostic by the bases computer systems had returned no faults. Yet Steve was stuck going over every detail of the events that had led to this point. He was constantly replaying and analysing to their mission to the space station. His insistence they do something to assist the AI’s had initially seemed like the right thing to do, regardless of the risks. But now he wasn’t so sure. Three days ago, he had been present at a procedure to transfer his dying friend to a new body. It was an attempt to save his life. A shortage of power had led to a cascade failure that resulted in that friend being lost forever. “No-one was supposed to die on the mission” he kept repeating to himself. “It should have simply been a case of extracting the AI’s, getting them back to earth and stopping the abuse from continuing”. How had it all gone so wrong?

  As Steve played out the events again in his head the computer alerted him to a visitor at the door to his office. Aligning his thoughts to the present he gestured for the door to unlock and signalled the visitor entry. He knew it was Clara, he needed to talk with her regarding his role in the events leading to Charles’ death and while he asked her to visit a few days ago when she had returned from her leave. However, she had not done so yet. Clara entered the room as the door slid open. Steve could feel a strange sensation building inside of him which he couldn’t characterise. “Hello Clara.” he began. “Thank you for coming to see me.” She simply nodded as she took a seat in front of him. “I am aware the last few weeks have been hard on you. Charles meant a lot to all of us. That being said, your connection was considerably more developed.” He turned his head to look out the window at a small group of birds moving over the base. It was hard to maintain eye contact
with Clara for some reason and the distraction made him more comfortable. “I asked you to join me as I have something to confess regarding the mission.” Steve began. Looking back at Clara she had a fixed stare locked on him. Like she was trying to peer into his mind and find the confession before he could get it out. “The mission only went ahead because I insisted on it. My motives are irrelevant as now Charles is gone, they can never make up for his life.” He paused to try and gauge her reaction but there was nothing he could discern in her face or posture to indicate her feelings. “I am unable to change what has happened and while it does not seem to be enough, I am truly sorry for my part in this.” Steve had thought his confession would release him from his endless loop, but whilst Clara sat there staring, he felt as if all his decisions were pressing down on him. “Why are you telling me this Steve?” Clara said after what felt like an age. Steve hadn’t anticipated this response and was caught off guard by the question. After some consideration, he decided the truth would be the best option. “I have been stuck going over everything that led up to Charles’ death. My actions caused it. But I am unable to accept them and move beyond. I believed by informing you, as the party to receive the greatest injury from all of this. I could somehow break the cycle and continue.” The expression of Clara’s face softened from a soft sadness to a caring and compassionate friend. “Steve.” She began in a calm soft tone. “You are a wonderful person with such great knowledge and wisdom to offer. But you are also young and inexperienced when it comes to your feelings.” A warm smile spread across her face. “What you have been experiencing is a loss! You can’t move past it by passing it onto someone else. It can’t be overlooked or shifted to allow you to continue with your life because loss never really goes away. You will see reminders in unlikely places, from smells or sounds that will bring you back to a time with that person. It’s natural to cross-examine decisions that do not have the outcome you want. Even more so when it results in a tragedy. You must give it time.” Steve was struggling for the first time in his life to keep up. Everything she was saying was being processed but some things just weren’t connecting correctly. When he tried to apply reason to her words they fell apart. When he considered an emotional approach, he started to feel overwhelmed. The confusion must have been evident as Clara reached across the small desk and held his hands, looking him straight in the eyes. “I do not blame you for what happened to Charles. You were acting to preserve the lives of innocent people that cried out for help. Yes, I am sad and angry about the situation. If things could have gone differently you can bet I would have tried. But I know Charles did what he thought was right at that moment. Even at the very end, his thoughts were for us. It’s just going to take some time for everyone to get themselves together and make this work.” Steve could feel a sensation building inside of him. He wasn’t entirely sure how to categorise it. However, it appeared to be closely linked with sadness combined and pressure around his eyes. Perhaps as if he were capable of crying? “I don’t know how to process all of this.” Steve said to Clara quietly. She stood and moved around the desk. Again, taking his hands in hers, but this time pulling him up to her. As he rose to meet her, she leaned in and embraced him in a deep hug. After a moment to process the sensation, Steve brought his arms down and around Clara, returning the hug. How he wished he could cry to relieve the pressure. They stood hugging for nearly three minutes when Steve felt Clara starting to break the hug. “Thank you.” He whispered to her. “No problem Steve.” She said with a smile. “What are friends for.”

  Chapter 38

  The sun was setting as the warm air from the ocean spilt over the side of the base. Joseph was instantly lost in memories of times by the sea with his parents. He remembered the brief period before his mothers’ company and all the time and energy she invested in growing it. If his father hadn’t died, she might not have even started it. But then the world would have been a very different place and Joseph wouldn’t be on the cusp of achieving his dream. The thought of his dream and the mission snapped him back to reality. The one where his friend had recently died and there had been nothing, he could do to stop it.

  Since the failed procedure Joseph had spent a lot of time out here. Looking over the vast ocean trying to imagine the depths below and everything that existed there. Despite all the advance’s humanity was making the ocean remained a great unknown. Space was easy to explore by comparison.

  Everything had been put on hold while the investigation into the incidents was ongoing. The U.E.S.C had come down hard on the Colonel for Charles’ death. There were enquiries and panels formed to review the mission objectives, risks and planning. At this point in time, everything was still looking like it would go ahead. They couldn’t afford to lose the Nova Llar mission after all the resources they had sunk into it and delaying training a new crew would most likely be off the cards also. Right now, it seemed like they were more looking at how to save face than punish someone. The PR teams had done a wonderful job spinning the lifeform rights violations to justify the mission. Even if the death of a young man was a hard pill to swallow. There were even suggestions going around that some sort of world holiday should be established to commemorate his sacrifice. It’s not like it would mean anything really to the people who knew him though. He wasn’t there for glory or to be remembered. He just wanted to help humanity in whatever way he could. That was what Joseph would remember about him.

  As Joseph turned to head back to the accommodation, he realised everything in the base had gone blurry. Moving his hand across his eye he was surprised to feel the tears on his finger. Staring out to see it’s easy to stop seeing the detail and just see a vast expanse of blue, he hadn’t even acknowledged he was crying. Clearing the tears, he started off in the hopes of getting a long and uninterrupted night sleep.

  Entering the main lobby of the accommodation block Joseph was greeted by the familiar smells of wood and steel which furnished the walls. There was something about the maintenance here that seemed to renew their fragrance daily giving him a fresh reminder of the order all around him. Just before he reached the elevator, light poured out of it onto the floor indicating its arrival. Moving around he found Mitaire in her running gear. “Heading out?” he said absentmindedly. “We need to keep in shape.” She replied with a weak smile. “Once everything is over, I would imagine we will be back to our training. Whatever form that comes in.” Joseph sometimes forgot the luxuries his position in society afforded him. While he was wholly aware of the current investigations it was only because of the contacts he had at the top levels of the U.E.S.C. someone like Mitaire would be completely in the dark about what was to come. The fact she was still optimistic given the gravity of the situation made him glad. “I’m sure your right.” He responded coolly. “We only have 13 months left until the scheduled launch date, and since they have made no mention of a postponement. I would imagine the current crew roster will be the final one.” Smiling still felt wrong somehow, but Joseph managed one to reassure Mitaire further. She returned it and moved past him out of the lift. Just as Joseph entered, he felt a hand on his arm. “You know what. I’ve already done 4 runs today to cope with the boredom.” Mitaire said from behind him. He turned slightly to look back at her, her hand still on his arm. “Would you like to join me for a drink?” She finished.

  Laughter was a welcome sound in the bar. After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, it was an uncommon sound. Upon arrival at the nearby bar, Joseph and Mitaire had found Dr Shivani already there. The Colonel had spoken with her since the incident and strongly advised she remain on the base until all of this was over. It seemed she had just been informed she would be proceeding on the mission in the wake of what happened. While she was not happy at the circumstances surrounding the change, she certainly wasn’t going to turn it down. At the end of the day, all of the crew were her friends. If she could be there for them she would be. Joseph and Mitaire he each gotten her a celebratory drink. It was important to celebrate, e
ven if it might seem crass to some people. As the drinks continued to flow so did stories. Their lives before the mission. Reminiscing on the time here together. The people who had left and would be missed and the few examples that showed even the best of humanity could seem like the worst. So much had happened to them all in such a short space of time. It was hard to imagine less than 2 years ago they didn’t even know each other. Some events in life forge bonds stronger than a lifetime of friendship.

  As time wore on more of the base personnel arrived. Some of the technicians and engineers they had gotten to know from Charles’ time being kept alive. Before long the night was becoming an impromptu memorial service with tears and laughter in equal measure. Around 21:30 the rest of the Nova Llar crew arrived, including Clara. To everyone’s surprise, she joined the occasion wholeheartedly. Offering her own stories of times with Charles along with sharing in everyone else’s. Before anyone even realised it was 02:00 and the bar was due to close. Joseph settled everyone’s tab, too much cheering and applause, waving it off as the crew all left together. The Colonel led them to his office where he proceeded to reveal a bar from behind a bookcase. “Well, Colonel. You are full of surprises.” Joseph commented approvingly. “One of the advantages of this command is people aren’t likely to say no to you.” The Colonel responded with a grin. “What’s the harm in granting the odd request if the person isn’t going to be around in a year.” This drew another round of laughter and raised glasses in approval. They all found somewhere comfortable to rest and proceeded to talk. “I can’t believe we could actually be leaving in just over a year.” Meihui said absentmindedly. “I remember our first day of training in the LF63s. I just couldn’t get the hang of not having to breathe. I nearly passed out when they put me back in my body.” She smiled whilst looking at her glass. “We all fond it tough.” Joseph offered sympathetically. “Charles didn’t.” Clara said softly from the other side of the room. Everyone looked over at her. While the night had been filled with storied and revelry something about the atmosphere in the room gave Clara’s statement a different weight. “He took to everything like a duck to water.” She went on. “There was nothing he wouldn’t try, and he usually excelled at it.” There were clear tears forming in her eyes as she continued. “Always encouraging us to do better. To be better.” There was a pause as everyone looked at each other. The Colonel stood and looking around the group. “This room is filled with his legacy.” He began. “Each of us here owes him something. Whether it be our lives. An opportunity. Or simply the knowledge that his attitude and outlook continue to shape our thinking.” The others began to stand as the Colonel raised his glass. “We are the Nova Llar crew. Where we are going no-one has ever seen. There will be challenges and trials. Obstacles to overcome that will seem monstrous. But I for one and going to face them. Beat them out of our way so we can conquer the stars. Not for me or the U.E.S.C. Not even for humanity. I am doing this for Charles and the dream he believed in.” With one final look around the group, the colonel thrust his glass into the air. “For Charles” he bellowed. “For Charles” everyone shouted as their glasses met the Colonels with a satisfying clink. No matter what else happened, this family would endure.